He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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