I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
