Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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