just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize