dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If that was your dad, he is hot
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
