Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
