she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
