pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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