Do you still have your period?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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