I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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