Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
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