Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
