I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize