i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize