at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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