turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
