He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
