did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
