we're blogging at a bar
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
