yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
