they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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