You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
