i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize