why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
