Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
