The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
