Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
