like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
