Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize