I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You were trust falling into bushes
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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