im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize