***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
