he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
