i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
