that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i think i just lost a toe
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
