I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
