We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
