how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
