I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize