I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
