that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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