where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
