I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize