And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize