seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
