My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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