is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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