Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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