Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
