Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
