did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
