it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
