1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize