dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
