This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
