thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
