I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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