How'd it feel making her break her religion?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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