Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
