It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
