Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
