some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Even my vagina gasped.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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