Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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