we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize