Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Everclear isn't food dammit
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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