the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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