the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
its liver damage thursday
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize