some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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