so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
