capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
