i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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