Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
