Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
operation harelip BJ is a go
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
