Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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