direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
