She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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