literally had 100 drinks last night.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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