even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
