I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
