That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
