If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
